going

The sounds of my feet on the rocks...
the pages turn
and fresh paint is applied to the canvas


this time I'm painting impasto,
thick, confident strokes

this is something new
nothing done before,
and not like the work of any other

this is but mine alone

I will learn to paint in my own style and my own way
with my own grace, not anothers

the novel begins as I learn that the other paintings do not create the light in my own
I take the light given to me and it is my job to fashion it

I'm learning to see again
I'm falling back
yet leaping forward

confidence is mine
progress, mine
love, mine
faith, mine
beauty mine
and chances, mine

I will not let them steal my joy

joy is not like the facade of happiness that can be snatched
it is solid and faithful
unlike the fleeting moments of happiness

I'm giving up
yet gaining hope

letting go
and staying still


I'm going to seek

walk the paths laced with roses
and hike to the tops of the trees

Im going.

I won't be frozen here any longer
in this powerless abyss where the world has it's hands on my heart
I'm tearing them off...they are welcome no longer

Lord
I'm so serious

so serious


too serious.



open the gates and flood this place
let it be engulfed by you
contagious and rediculous

but most of all, let it be real and honest


and shake me into a heart that is fully yours