oh indecisive me,

I am the most confusing person I think I have ever met.

Sorry if I have ever been unreasonable, afraid or confusing.

Some, ok... most days,
I can't even figure out what I want relationship-wise, because I don't know, and if I think I do, I will normally counteract that with my self-doubt and over analytical tendencies.

When i was a freshman in college, i thought God was calling me to live a life to Him and Him alone. I no longer think that is true....but I also don't know God's plan in that avenue of my life either.

This is me... in a certain nutshell of quasi relationships i went through:





"I like you but I don't want you to feel the same way for me.
and I don't want you to see me for the flawed image that i am."

"You may genuinely like me, so I obviously can't return the favor...that would mean facing my fears."

"Someone else adores you, maybe I do too? is it envy or is this genuine?"

"You are interested in someone else, I am interested in you...I am. I see it now. Clear."

"You like me? Well too bad. I found a reason it wont work...some ridiculous petty reason."

"it took too long to trust you, it was too late"

"I think you're great, you may be genuinely interested in me, but I have wandering eyes and i am scared that the "right one" will come and I'll miss him."

"you make me laugh, you complement me, you do not believe what i believe."


"I fell for you, but you didn't think you were good enough."



I'm shy.
I'm very inexperienced with commitment

I live in Utah.

I am a fearful girl in this area.
and I need to work on that.




How do you know when to jump?